we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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