It's like God shit irony all over that family
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize