She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
