"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
