Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
