dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
