so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
