NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
