I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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