I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
