i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize