Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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