Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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