Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize