Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
