I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
