Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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