There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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