last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
