epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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