I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
