you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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