You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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