which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
