she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this is an emotional support booty call
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
