im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
