your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
