I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
