dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
