Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
