Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
