dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
