The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dignity is for republicans.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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