dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
