You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
barbara walters just said penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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