ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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