Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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