I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize