We're facebook friends in real life
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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