If that was your dad, he is hot
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
