he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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