This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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