How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
