she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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