Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
