I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
