If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
