I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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