i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
