i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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