Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize