I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
