Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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