I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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