I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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