we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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