They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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